TMA 02
Part 4: Philosophy
1 - Fill out the argument that Hattie gives in paragraph 5, following the template below.
Premise 1:
How good a painting is depends entirely on what it looks like.
Premise 2:
The quality of a painting doesn't depend on who painted it.
Close, but this premise should read, ‘Leonardo’s Mona Lisa and the copy look exactly the same.’
Conclusion:
A copy of a painting is equally good as the original.
Close – ‘Leonardo’s Mona Lisa and the copy are equally good.
10
2 - In paragraph 7, Hattie sets out an argument that she thinks that Jack ought to accept. Fill out the argument following the template below.
Premise 1:
How good a painting is depends entirely on who painted it.
Premise 2:
All of Leonardo's paintings are by Leornardo.ü good
Conclusion:
All of Leonardo's paintings will be equally good.
well done
20
3 - Hattie thinks that the conclusion of this argument contradicts a claim that Jack made earlier. What claim was that?
In paragraph 2, Jack states that the Mona Lisa is better than any other painting that Leonardo did.
20
4 - Jack responds by rejecting one of the premises of the argument that Hattie gives in paragraph 7. Which premise does he reject and why?
Jack rejects the premise that how good a painting is depends entirely on who painted it because the quality of a painting depends on what it looks like as well.
20
5 - In paragraph 9, Hattie draws a comparison between the copy of the Mona Lisa that she has been to see and the copy of Jane Eyre on Jack's bookshelf. What point is she trying to make with this comparison?
She is trying to show that so long as a copy is identical to the original then it is as good because it is just as much the work of the original artist or author as the original. It still draws on the artist’s decisions of composition and use of colour, not the decisions of the copier.
Pad out a bit more. Hattie argues that the paperback of Jane Eyre is the same novel as the manuscript that Bronte wrote out by hand. Both are equally the work of Bronte. By the same token, Hattie suggests that the copy of the Mona Lisa in the local gallery and the original might be considered the same. Both can be considered the work of Leonardo. The local artist has reproduced the work in the same way that the printing press has reproduced the novel. Therefore, the copy is just as good as the original.
13.5
Nigel Warburton. (2005) Unit 4 - Reasoning', An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 144-172
Sunday, 25 November 2007
TMA02 - Music
TMA 02
Part 3: Music
In no more than 300 words write a descriptive analysis of the song 'For No One' by The Beatles. Pay particular attention to features such as the verse-chorus structure, melody, rhythm, timbre, texture and the relationship between words and music.
The John Lennon and Paul McCartney composition, ‘For No One’, has a regular verse chorus structure. It begins with two verses, followed by a chorus, then another verse followed again by a chorus, ending with two more verses and a final chorus. Each verse is three lines long whilst the chorus is four lines long. Ok, but you don’t really need to mention the length of verse and chorus.
The song has a rhythm around which the lyrics and music are built. This upbeat - Note 1 - rhythm flows throughout the piece. The song is written in quite a high pitch, and the melody and harmony, along with the timbre, are upbeat and cheerful which seems to be at odds with the content of the lyrics which are mournful and focus on loss. The only musical element which fits with the lyrics is the French horn which plays a motif at the beginning of the second and third choruses. Good, now explain how the French horn complements the lyrics. And what about the poignant nature of the choruses, they way they are sung?
The texture of the songs builds throughout. It is sparse in the first verse with only the vocal and a piano. Texture thinned somewhat during the chorus The drums are included in the second verse, which adds richness to the texture and a definite rhythm to the piece. This texture is then deepened further by the addition of the bass guitar and the tambourine, along with more piano and drums. The French horn is used in the second half of the song. Yes, now explain how the horn is used and what its effects are.
There is only the one voice used throughout. No vocal harmonies are used; harmony is added by the music. interesting On first listening to this piece, this seems to be a fairly basic, happy pop song. It is (do not use contractions) only on further listening to the song that one realises the depth of feeling and the quality behind the music, the way it builds and fits together.What about the ending? It has an unfinished effect which mirrors the mood and meaning of the song.
16.5
Fiona Richards. (2005) Unit 3 - Listening to music, An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 97-129
The Open University, CD5B, Track 21 - For No One, The Beatles
Note 1 - Not sure that the rhythm is ‘upbeat’ given the message that the words convey.
Part 3: Music
In no more than 300 words write a descriptive analysis of the song 'For No One' by The Beatles. Pay particular attention to features such as the verse-chorus structure, melody, rhythm, timbre, texture and the relationship between words and music.
The John Lennon and Paul McCartney composition, ‘For No One’, has a regular verse chorus structure. It begins with two verses, followed by a chorus, then another verse followed again by a chorus, ending with two more verses and a final chorus. Each verse is three lines long whilst the chorus is four lines long. Ok, but you don’t really need to mention the length of verse and chorus.
The song has a rhythm around which the lyrics and music are built. This upbeat - Note 1 - rhythm flows throughout the piece. The song is written in quite a high pitch, and the melody and harmony, along with the timbre, are upbeat and cheerful which seems to be at odds with the content of the lyrics which are mournful and focus on loss. The only musical element which fits with the lyrics is the French horn which plays a motif at the beginning of the second and third choruses. Good, now explain how the French horn complements the lyrics. And what about the poignant nature of the choruses, they way they are sung?
The texture of the songs builds throughout. It is sparse in the first verse with only the vocal and a piano. Texture thinned somewhat during the chorus The drums are included in the second verse, which adds richness to the texture and a definite rhythm to the piece. This texture is then deepened further by the addition of the bass guitar and the tambourine, along with more piano and drums. The French horn is used in the second half of the song. Yes, now explain how the horn is used and what its effects are.
There is only the one voice used throughout. No vocal harmonies are used; harmony is added by the music. interesting On first listening to this piece, this seems to be a fairly basic, happy pop song. It is (do not use contractions) only on further listening to the song that one realises the depth of feeling and the quality behind the music, the way it builds and fits together.What about the ending? It has an unfinished effect which mirrors the mood and meaning of the song.
16.5
Fiona Richards. (2005) Unit 3 - Listening to music, An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 97-129
The Open University, CD5B, Track 21 - For No One, The Beatles
Note 1 - Not sure that the rhythm is ‘upbeat’ given the message that the words convey.
TMA02 - Literature
TMA 02
Part 2: Literature
In no more than 300 words, write an analysis of Robert Edward Thomas's sonnet 'February Afternoon'
‘February Afternoon’ is a standard 14 line sonnet, written in iambic pentameter. The twelfth line, however, has eleven syllables. - Note 1 - It is divided into two parts, the first part an octave and the second a sestet. The rhyming scheme is ABBA, ABBA, CDD, ECE. The division of the octave into two quatrains using the rhyming pattern shows the sonnet is Petrarchan although the two rhyming tercets in the sestet do not follow the usual CDE, CDE or CDC, DCD pattern of the Petrarchan sonnet. - Note 2 - The sonnet also contains many examples of enjambment. And what is the effect of enjambement? It gives the piece a contemplative reading and contrasts with the pauses, which give it a somewhat jarring feel. The turn of the sonnet is the split between the octave and the sestet.
The imagery in the sonnet is all based around the author’s experience during the First World War. - Note 3 - It begins by showing the reader how 'all encompassing' war is by bringing nature into the military arena.ü The birds are black and white, good and evil, like pieces on a chess board. They chatter and command. A thousand years is mentioned three times, showing the seemingly never- ending conflict the author finds himself in, along with the eternity of all war and nature.ü interesting The author ends with two lines showing the godlessness of war, the absence of what must surely have been seen in 1916 as a force for good. Discuss Thomas’s portrayal of God a bit further. There is bitterness here.
The sonnet uses many words we do not commonly use these days. Such as? Cite and explain examples. Punctuation is used correctly, however, showing the enjambment by not ending lines with full stops and adding commas and hyphens where necessary. The sonnet does have a definite end, a conclusion of sorts. Well…you need to discuss punctuation much more fully rather than just writing it is used ‘properly’. What effect does the punctuation have on the overall mood and meaning of the sonnet? And does the sonnet have a ‘definite end’? It doesn’t end with a rhyming couplet which suggests that there is dislocation of sorts; something is not quite right at the end of the sonnet.
‘February Afternoon’, like other war poetry, uses metaphor and symbolism to demonstrate the hopelessness and heartlessness of battle. It also helps to convince us, that even in the midst of such horror, the human soul is still capable of creating beauty. Not clear how this final message is conveyed in the sonnet. And you haven’t really discussed metaphor even though you mention it in the conclusion.
Stephen Regan. (2005) Unit 2 - Form and meaning in poetry: The sonnet, An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 50-93
Josh Robinson. (2006) 'Petes' Radical Poetry Site' - http://wwwpetepoetry-bullybuster.blogspot.com/2006/12/february-afternoon.html
16
Note 1 - And why is this important?
Note 2 - This section could be further edited – You could mention that the sonnet is Petrarchan in the opening sentence. It would also be a good idea to discuss the importance of unorthodox rhyme scheme in the sestet. It is rather jarring and suggests dislocation and complements the theme of the poem.
Note 3 - This is what the imagery reveals. The imagery itself is very much based on nature.
Part 2: Literature
In no more than 300 words, write an analysis of Robert Edward Thomas's sonnet 'February Afternoon'
‘February Afternoon’ is a standard 14 line sonnet, written in iambic pentameter. The twelfth line, however, has eleven syllables. - Note 1 - It is divided into two parts, the first part an octave and the second a sestet. The rhyming scheme is ABBA, ABBA, CDD, ECE. The division of the octave into two quatrains using the rhyming pattern shows the sonnet is Petrarchan although the two rhyming tercets in the sestet do not follow the usual CDE, CDE or CDC, DCD pattern of the Petrarchan sonnet. - Note 2 - The sonnet also contains many examples of enjambment. And what is the effect of enjambement? It gives the piece a contemplative reading and contrasts with the pauses, which give it a somewhat jarring feel. The turn of the sonnet is the split between the octave and the sestet.
The imagery in the sonnet is all based around the author’s experience during the First World War. - Note 3 - It begins by showing the reader how 'all encompassing' war is by bringing nature into the military arena.ü The birds are black and white, good and evil, like pieces on a chess board. They chatter and command. A thousand years is mentioned three times, showing the seemingly never- ending conflict the author finds himself in, along with the eternity of all war and nature.ü interesting The author ends with two lines showing the godlessness of war, the absence of what must surely have been seen in 1916 as a force for good. Discuss Thomas’s portrayal of God a bit further. There is bitterness here.
The sonnet uses many words we do not commonly use these days. Such as? Cite and explain examples. Punctuation is used correctly, however, showing the enjambment by not ending lines with full stops and adding commas and hyphens where necessary. The sonnet does have a definite end, a conclusion of sorts. Well…you need to discuss punctuation much more fully rather than just writing it is used ‘properly’. What effect does the punctuation have on the overall mood and meaning of the sonnet? And does the sonnet have a ‘definite end’? It doesn’t end with a rhyming couplet which suggests that there is dislocation of sorts; something is not quite right at the end of the sonnet.
‘February Afternoon’, like other war poetry, uses metaphor and symbolism to demonstrate the hopelessness and heartlessness of battle. It also helps to convince us, that even in the midst of such horror, the human soul is still capable of creating beauty. Not clear how this final message is conveyed in the sonnet. And you haven’t really discussed metaphor even though you mention it in the conclusion.
Stephen Regan. (2005) Unit 2 - Form and meaning in poetry: The sonnet, An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 50-93
Josh Robinson. (2006) 'Petes' Radical Poetry Site' - http://wwwpetepoetry-bullybuster.blogspot.com/2006/12/february-afternoon.html
16
Note 1 - And why is this important?
Note 2 - This section could be further edited – You could mention that the sonnet is Petrarchan in the opening sentence. It would also be a good idea to discuss the importance of unorthodox rhyme scheme in the sestet. It is rather jarring and suggests dislocation and complements the theme of the poem.
Note 3 - This is what the imagery reveals. The imagery itself is very much based on nature.
TMA02 - Art History
TMA 02
Part 1: Art History
Look at Georg Friedrich Kersting's Man Reading
In no more than 300 words, write a descriptive analysis of this painting. Pay particular attention to features such as the composition of the pictorial space, to the organisation of form and detail, and to the use of lighting and tone, and to say how you think these contribute to the effect of the work.
Georg Friedrich Kersting's painted Man Reading title in italics in 1814. It is painted in oil, on canvas, and is 47.5cm x 37cm in size. The painting portrays a man sitting in what appears to be a small study, reading by candlelight. The man is in the centre of the painting and because of the lighting used, is the main focus of the painting. good, now explain how lighting is used to make him the focus.
The angle of vision is set at right angles to both the picture plane and the literal plane. This gives the viewer a front and centre view, staring deep into the painting rather than simply looking at it. - Note 1 - The vanishing point is to the high left centre of the painting where the lamp shines.
The painting is a three (write out numbers under 10) dimensional likeness and the objects painted are all very distinct and solid with weight, volume and colour. - Note 2 - The light brings detail to the face of the man, the book, a family portrait and to the open red box on the desk next to him. The figure-ground relationship here is very important. It places the man in his study late in the day and the man is the centre of our attention. A bit of repetition here There is a very wide tonal range, from black to white. Good, now what effect does this tonal range have? It helps draw our attention to the man.
The lighting is very subdued around the edges of the painting and very bright and direct in the centre. The light source is the candles on the desk, slightly to the left of the angle of vision. Shading and shadow are thrown from the lamp, giving the painting a dimensional quality - Note 3 - and adding perspective. But overall the painting is relatively shallow. The lighting draws the viewer into a 'circle of importance' around the light. True, but this is a bit repetitive. You have already mentioned light and the man being the centre of attention.
The light source is the first thing you look to before noticing how the man appears, the shelving, closed boxes and other features of the room. The painting suggests the viewer is standing at the room door, looking in on the man.ü a bit repetitious. You have already mentioned the spectator. The effect of the lighting, form, detail and use of pictorial space all suggest the man is reading through duty, not for relaxation. An interesting suggestion which could be further discussed with reference to some of the objects in the room, the rolled up map, for example. He wants to get back to the family in the picture on his desk. The mirrored red boxes suggest that what he is reading is important as the open box, which contained his reading material, is in the light, whilst the closed box is hidden in the shadows. Another interesting suggestion.
Charles Harrison. (2005) Unit 1 - Seeing', An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 7-48
The Open University. An Introduction to Humanities, Illustration Book. Colour Plate 96. Pp 96
17
Note 1 - Interesting. And given the composition are we part of it or are we like an interloper, on the edge looking into a self-contained, private world?
Note 2 - Composition is in rectilinear arrangement, which again helps draw our attention to the man. Two red boxes contrast with the cool green wall and balance the composition.
Note 3 - Perhaps define what you mean by this.
Part 1: Art History
Look at Georg Friedrich Kersting's Man Reading
In no more than 300 words, write a descriptive analysis of this painting. Pay particular attention to features such as the composition of the pictorial space, to the organisation of form and detail, and to the use of lighting and tone, and to say how you think these contribute to the effect of the work.
Georg Friedrich Kersting's painted Man Reading title in italics in 1814. It is painted in oil, on canvas, and is 47.5cm x 37cm in size. The painting portrays a man sitting in what appears to be a small study, reading by candlelight. The man is in the centre of the painting and because of the lighting used, is the main focus of the painting. good, now explain how lighting is used to make him the focus.
The angle of vision is set at right angles to both the picture plane and the literal plane. This gives the viewer a front and centre view, staring deep into the painting rather than simply looking at it. - Note 1 - The vanishing point is to the high left centre of the painting where the lamp shines.
The painting is a three (write out numbers under 10) dimensional likeness and the objects painted are all very distinct and solid with weight, volume and colour. - Note 2 - The light brings detail to the face of the man, the book, a family portrait and to the open red box on the desk next to him. The figure-ground relationship here is very important. It places the man in his study late in the day and the man is the centre of our attention. A bit of repetition here There is a very wide tonal range, from black to white. Good, now what effect does this tonal range have? It helps draw our attention to the man.
The lighting is very subdued around the edges of the painting and very bright and direct in the centre. The light source is the candles on the desk, slightly to the left of the angle of vision. Shading and shadow are thrown from the lamp, giving the painting a dimensional quality - Note 3 - and adding perspective. But overall the painting is relatively shallow. The lighting draws the viewer into a 'circle of importance' around the light. True, but this is a bit repetitive. You have already mentioned light and the man being the centre of attention.
The light source is the first thing you look to before noticing how the man appears, the shelving, closed boxes and other features of the room. The painting suggests the viewer is standing at the room door, looking in on the man.ü a bit repetitious. You have already mentioned the spectator. The effect of the lighting, form, detail and use of pictorial space all suggest the man is reading through duty, not for relaxation. An interesting suggestion which could be further discussed with reference to some of the objects in the room, the rolled up map, for example. He wants to get back to the family in the picture on his desk. The mirrored red boxes suggest that what he is reading is important as the open box, which contained his reading material, is in the light, whilst the closed box is hidden in the shadows. Another interesting suggestion.
Charles Harrison. (2005) Unit 1 - Seeing', An Introduction to Humanities, Form and Reading, Second Edition. pp. 7-48
The Open University. An Introduction to Humanities, Illustration Book. Colour Plate 96. Pp 96
17
Note 1 - Interesting. And given the composition are we part of it or are we like an interloper, on the edge looking into a self-contained, private world?
Note 2 - Composition is in rectilinear arrangement, which again helps draw our attention to the man. Two red boxes contrast with the cool green wall and balance the composition.
Note 3 - Perhaps define what you mean by this.
TMA 02
Hiya,
I've had my second TMA results back. Considering the amount of work put in I feel it reflects quite well. I know that I am still not giving this my best. Maybe it is because it is not really what I want to be doing, I'm not sure.
I signed up to do either a literature or philosophy degree and am doing art, music etc. Excuses though I think! I need to commit myself more fully to achieve top marks.
The OU marking structure is
Pass 1 - 100-85 - A
Pass 2 - 84 - 70 - B
Pass 3 - 69 - 50 - C
Pass 4 - 54 - 40 - D
And then all sorts of nasty fails we wont mention.
Obviously I'd like to be in Pass 1 but at the moment, getting into Pass2 is not too bad. I've not done anything like this in over 10 years!
My TMA02 was done too quickly and I feel the result shows that! The only section I really took my time with was Philosophy. I'm not sure how long these essays are supposed to take but I spent about 2 hours on each.
Anyway, enough wittering, my result is as follows...
TUTOR'S COMMENTS AND ADVICE TO STUDENT:
Dan,
You have made a good effort answering the questions and there is alot of potential here.
The philosophy section is the strongest of the four and you display a good understanding of the various philosophical terms that you were introduced to in Block 1. Hattie's final argument could be padded out a bit, but overall, well done.
You are heading in the right direction with your analyses of the painting, the poem and the piece of music, however, each would have been stronger had you offered less description of content and more analysis of colour, tonal range, composition, strucure, imagery, diction, timbre, etc. that you were asked to cover. There is quite a bit of repetition in your discussion of the painting and you tend to spend rather too much time on lighting. I'm left wondering about colour and tonal range, the arrangement of the composition. What colours are used and how are they used? What about the linear arrangement of the composition? The same general comments hold true for your analysis of the poem. You make some interesting observations, but need to go a step further in your discussion of them. What, for example, is the effect of the unorthodox rhyme scheme in the sestet? What words does Thomas use and how does he use them? Parleying, for example, suggests not only chattering birds, but negotiation during war. You have the gist of 'For No One', but again are general rather than specific. How, for example, does the French horn complement the meaning of the lyrics? How does the song end? It has an unfinished quality to it that mirrors the theme.
71/100
Dan
x
I've had my second TMA results back. Considering the amount of work put in I feel it reflects quite well. I know that I am still not giving this my best. Maybe it is because it is not really what I want to be doing, I'm not sure.
I signed up to do either a literature or philosophy degree and am doing art, music etc. Excuses though I think! I need to commit myself more fully to achieve top marks.
The OU marking structure is
Pass 1 - 100-85 - A
Pass 2 - 84 - 70 - B
Pass 3 - 69 - 50 - C
Pass 4 - 54 - 40 - D
And then all sorts of nasty fails we wont mention.
Obviously I'd like to be in Pass 1 but at the moment, getting into Pass2 is not too bad. I've not done anything like this in over 10 years!
My TMA02 was done too quickly and I feel the result shows that! The only section I really took my time with was Philosophy. I'm not sure how long these essays are supposed to take but I spent about 2 hours on each.
Anyway, enough wittering, my result is as follows...
TUTOR'S COMMENTS AND ADVICE TO STUDENT:
Dan,
You have made a good effort answering the questions and there is alot of potential here.
The philosophy section is the strongest of the four and you display a good understanding of the various philosophical terms that you were introduced to in Block 1. Hattie's final argument could be padded out a bit, but overall, well done.
You are heading in the right direction with your analyses of the painting, the poem and the piece of music, however, each would have been stronger had you offered less description of content and more analysis of colour, tonal range, composition, strucure, imagery, diction, timbre, etc. that you were asked to cover. There is quite a bit of repetition in your discussion of the painting and you tend to spend rather too much time on lighting. I'm left wondering about colour and tonal range, the arrangement of the composition. What colours are used and how are they used? What about the linear arrangement of the composition? The same general comments hold true for your analysis of the poem. You make some interesting observations, but need to go a step further in your discussion of them. What, for example, is the effect of the unorthodox rhyme scheme in the sestet? What words does Thomas use and how does he use them? Parleying, for example, suggests not only chattering birds, but negotiation during war. You have the gist of 'For No One', but again are general rather than specific. How, for example, does the French horn complement the meaning of the lyrics? How does the song end? It has an unfinished quality to it that mirrors the theme.
71/100
Dan
x
Friday, 16 November 2007
TMA 01
Ok, so the idea behind this blog is to add a sense of transparency to my degree, forcing me to work harder and hopefully making this blog more interesting than a simple diary. Therefore, my TMA sumissions will be complete with tutor comments along with details of how hard i worked on them! Comments are shown in red!
This TMA took me about an hour to plan and a further hour to write...
A Fable for Tomorrow
Daniel Tarry
A fable is a myth, legend or fairy tale. It is (do not use contractions)a brief and succinct story featuring the forces of nature and which illustrates a moral lesson and ends with an explicit maxim or wise saying. Tomorrow is the day after today or the future. Therefore, a fable for tomorrow is actually a contradiction, teaching us a lesson about a future we cannot yet see. You are making some interesting comments, but in future try to write an introductory paragraph that lets your reader know what the essay will be about (in this case the connection between language, mood and meaning). Try not to launch into your analysis.
The excerpts we are shown are clearly defined into a before tomorrow, a tomorrow and a conclusion. Try to avoid one-sentence paragraphs. This is an interesting point to make, but it’s not really clear how this is answering the question which asks you to look at language.
Before tomorrow, the past is shown in a collection of bright, positive and vibrant long sentences.ü good Prosperity and harmony reign and the seasons are well defined. Discuss the first section more fully, pulling out examples of words and phrases that Carson uses.
The future is darker. Death and shadow abound. Humans enter the narrative, as if they suddenly stand out from the dying nature around them rather than being 'as one' or symbiotic.ü again, interesting The sentences are cut short, like the lives in the fable, they flow. Interesting; and what effect do short sentences have on the mood and meaning of the piece?
In the past there is no mystery. Everything is vivid and real. And how does Carson use language to convey this vividness and reality? The future shows confusion, unreality and uncertainty, for example, by the way the birds feed. In the past , even the roadsides are bountiful with food. In the future the birds need feeding, and that is left untouched.
There seems a definite certainty in the beauty of nature and a strange mystery in the death of nature. Again, avoid one-sentence paragraphs. And while this is a good description of the extracts, it isn’t really explaining the connection between language, mood and meaning.
Throughout the narrative the author uses lists to convey subject matter,specifically nature as it abounds, or is missing. Maple, oak, birch, laurel, viburnum and elder are listed in the first section, robins, catbirds, doves, jays and wrens in the second. yes, now discuss Carson’s use of lists a bit further re: mood of each section. How does the first list differ from the second?
The conclusion shows a clever mix of the author’s honesty and heart-felt emotion. The first sentences honestly admit that the work is a fiction. The author then brings us back to the horror of the vision with dark fact and even darker assumption. Ok, but rather than describing the conclusion you need to consider the words that Carson uses, whether they are different than those used in the first two sections, and whether a different mood is created. For example, there is a different narrative voice and phrases such as ‘grim spectre’ may be considered over-dramatic.
The past section is ended in silence, as is the conclusion, which could be seen as an attempt to tie the empty future into a semi-factual conclusion. Interesting, but this isn’t really explaining the connection between language, mood and meaning.
333 words
Bibliography?
TUTOR'S COMMENTS AND ADVICE TO STUDENT:
Daniel,This is a good attempt at answering the question and you make a number of very interesting observations about the extracts. I thought the references to today, tomorrow, the past and future were perceptive. However, the problem with the focus of your essay is that it doesn't actually answer the question which is asking you to discuss the connection between language, mood and meaning. For example, on p. 2 you correctly state that 'in the past there is no mystery. Everything is vivid and real.' More discussion of this, vis a vis the question, needs to appear. Exactly how does Carson use language to convey this vividness and reality? Ditto how does Carson use language to convey confusion and unreality? Are the words and phrases different in each section? And well done for mentioning Carson's use of lists. Now, explain whether the lists are different in each section. What is their effect on the mood created in each section?On the whole you convey your ideas well, however, make sure that you discuss points fully in your paragraphs (some paragraphs are rather short, which suggests that more discussion is needed) and try to avoid one-sentence paragraphs.
65
OK, so, 65, not so good but not bad considering it was the first essay I have written in years! That's an excuse though. I knew I hadn't answered the question and did discuss this with my tutor before submitting the TMA but decided to submit it as it was because it doesn't count towards the final score and I wondered how it would be marked. Anyway, That's 1 down....
This TMA took me about an hour to plan and a further hour to write...
A Fable for Tomorrow
Daniel Tarry
A fable is a myth, legend or fairy tale. It is (do not use contractions)a brief and succinct story featuring the forces of nature and which illustrates a moral lesson and ends with an explicit maxim or wise saying. Tomorrow is the day after today or the future. Therefore, a fable for tomorrow is actually a contradiction, teaching us a lesson about a future we cannot yet see. You are making some interesting comments, but in future try to write an introductory paragraph that lets your reader know what the essay will be about (in this case the connection between language, mood and meaning). Try not to launch into your analysis.
The excerpts we are shown are clearly defined into a before tomorrow, a tomorrow and a conclusion. Try to avoid one-sentence paragraphs. This is an interesting point to make, but it’s not really clear how this is answering the question which asks you to look at language.
Before tomorrow, the past is shown in a collection of bright, positive and vibrant long sentences.ü good Prosperity and harmony reign and the seasons are well defined. Discuss the first section more fully, pulling out examples of words and phrases that Carson uses.
The future is darker. Death and shadow abound. Humans enter the narrative, as if they suddenly stand out from the dying nature around them rather than being 'as one' or symbiotic.ü again, interesting The sentences are cut short, like the lives in the fable, they flow. Interesting; and what effect do short sentences have on the mood and meaning of the piece?
In the past there is no mystery. Everything is vivid and real. And how does Carson use language to convey this vividness and reality? The future shows confusion, unreality and uncertainty, for example, by the way the birds feed. In the past , even the roadsides are bountiful with food. In the future the birds need feeding, and that is left untouched.
There seems a definite certainty in the beauty of nature and a strange mystery in the death of nature. Again, avoid one-sentence paragraphs. And while this is a good description of the extracts, it isn’t really explaining the connection between language, mood and meaning.
Throughout the narrative the author uses lists to convey subject matter,specifically nature as it abounds, or is missing. Maple, oak, birch, laurel, viburnum and elder are listed in the first section, robins, catbirds, doves, jays and wrens in the second. yes, now discuss Carson’s use of lists a bit further re: mood of each section. How does the first list differ from the second?
The conclusion shows a clever mix of the author’s honesty and heart-felt emotion. The first sentences honestly admit that the work is a fiction. The author then brings us back to the horror of the vision with dark fact and even darker assumption. Ok, but rather than describing the conclusion you need to consider the words that Carson uses, whether they are different than those used in the first two sections, and whether a different mood is created. For example, there is a different narrative voice and phrases such as ‘grim spectre’ may be considered over-dramatic.
The past section is ended in silence, as is the conclusion, which could be seen as an attempt to tie the empty future into a semi-factual conclusion. Interesting, but this isn’t really explaining the connection between language, mood and meaning.
333 words
Bibliography?
TUTOR'S COMMENTS AND ADVICE TO STUDENT:
Daniel,This is a good attempt at answering the question and you make a number of very interesting observations about the extracts. I thought the references to today, tomorrow, the past and future were perceptive. However, the problem with the focus of your essay is that it doesn't actually answer the question which is asking you to discuss the connection between language, mood and meaning. For example, on p. 2 you correctly state that 'in the past there is no mystery. Everything is vivid and real.' More discussion of this, vis a vis the question, needs to appear. Exactly how does Carson use language to convey this vividness and reality? Ditto how does Carson use language to convey confusion and unreality? Are the words and phrases different in each section? And well done for mentioning Carson's use of lists. Now, explain whether the lists are different in each section. What is their effect on the mood created in each section?On the whole you convey your ideas well, however, make sure that you discuss points fully in your paragraphs (some paragraphs are rather short, which suggests that more discussion is needed) and try to avoid one-sentence paragraphs.
65
OK, so, 65, not so good but not bad considering it was the first essay I have written in years! That's an excuse though. I knew I hadn't answered the question and did discuss this with my tutor before submitting the TMA but decided to submit it as it was because it doesn't count towards the final score and I wondered how it would be marked. Anyway, That's 1 down....
Left it tooooooo long....
I'm sorry, that's all I can say! I was determined that this was going to detail my prgress through my degree.
Well, it's started. I've now finished my first 2 TMA's and we start on the thrid next week. The first was an optional one to find out more about how everything works than anything. The second, which I submitted yesterday was a 4 parter. The first part was History of Art, then Sonnets, then Music and finally Philosophy.
I'll create seperate entries to discuss these further.
The course itself is fun and it's nice to have something new to focus on. I have to go to Cheltenham most Tuesdays for tutorials and at the moment am spending one other evening a week reading the course material for that week. I think this will increase once the pace hots up and things get more tricky. It's all fairly simple at the moment but even so, I know I'm not putting my heart and soul into it yet! My music essay was written in less than an hour last night and I'm sure my mark will reflect that kind of slap dash attitude!
I'll sign off now but I promise I'll be back soon!
Dan
Well, it's started. I've now finished my first 2 TMA's and we start on the thrid next week. The first was an optional one to find out more about how everything works than anything. The second, which I submitted yesterday was a 4 parter. The first part was History of Art, then Sonnets, then Music and finally Philosophy.
I'll create seperate entries to discuss these further.
The course itself is fun and it's nice to have something new to focus on. I have to go to Cheltenham most Tuesdays for tutorials and at the moment am spending one other evening a week reading the course material for that week. I think this will increase once the pace hots up and things get more tricky. It's all fairly simple at the moment but even so, I know I'm not putting my heart and soul into it yet! My music essay was written in less than an hour last night and I'm sure my mark will reflect that kind of slap dash attitude!
I'll sign off now but I promise I'll be back soon!
Dan
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